Wednesday 17 February 2021

Love is at the end of that tunnel


Some context first - These days I am at my creative low. Some things are at cross roads, decisions to be made, and hence my mind is totally aligned otherwise. I wrote a post last week, but then something told me to take it off. Creative low, I told you.

Then happened Basant Panchami, and I was at a loss of words for Ma, because I came across three stark examples of gross gobarbuddhi behaviour by very sharp, intelligent people. I thought perhaps this Vasant Panchami will go just like that - lukkha!

In an intense moment of self-doubt, I wondered if I was deserving of love in the week of love, and of wisdom in the week of wisdom? Like a lot of us feel at different points of our life, I wondered, if I truly was deserving?

Then this video happened to me. This came into my inbox, and in a moment I was transported to another world. A world of my childhood, the world where this was the first composition taught to me in my education to music. A world where supposedly this was also the first piece of hindi-poetry I learnt. A world, where I trusted that in the bleakest of nights, creative inspiration will stay by my side.

I do not know what the poet Suryakan Tripathi Nirala thought of, when he wrote this :

वर दे, वीणावादिनि वर दे।
प्रिय स्वतंत्र रव, अमृत मंत्र नव
भारत में भर दे।
काट अंध उर के बंधन स्तर
बहा जननि ज्योतिर्मय निर्झर
कलुष भेद तम हर प्रकाश भर
जगमग जग कर दे।
नव गति नव लय ताल छंद नव
नवल कंठ नव जलद मन्द्र रव
नव नभ के नव विहग वृंद को,
नव पर नव स्वर दे।
वर दे, वीणावादिनि वर दे।

I do not know what Kasturika Mishra thought of when she sang this and shared with me in my inbox. I do not know what made me deserving of that love from her to send me her blessings yesterday, but what I know is this - It reached me when I needed it the most, and for that I am grateful.

Love is.... At the end of that tunnel
When the world you live in turns to dystopia
When rape apologists celebrate the woman as Goddess
When you sit and wonder about the purpose of life
Love will come to you disguised as hope.
When you feel distraught by the loneliness around you
When you fear for your loved ones' well being
When you wonder if there will ever be sufficient love in the world
Love will come to you disguised as friendship
When you are unable to decide
Split between material gain and purpose of your being
When you can't make up your mind
Love will come to you disguised as wisdom
Love is nothing you see but just a manifestation
Of whatever it is you need to thrive
In the moment, in the present
If you're open to receiving
Love will always come to you in the form you need the most
But for love to come,
You need to keep going
Because Love...
is at the end of that tunnel.

©  Anupama Garg 2021

Disclaimer - This video is used purely for non-commercial purposes and whatever rights remain with the singer.

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