Friday 7 October 2016

Questions, answers, Shikwa and Jawab-e-Shikwa

Kyun Ziyaankar Banu, Sood Faramosh Rahoon?
Fikr-e-Farda Na Karoon, Mehw-e-Gham-e-Dosh Rahoon?
Naal-e-Bulbul Ke Sunoon Aur Hamatan Gosh Rahoon?
Hamnawa Main Bhi Koi Gul Hoon Ke Khamosh Rahoon?
Jurr'at Aamoz Meri Taab-e-Sukhan Hai Mujhko!
Shikwa Allah Se Khakam Badhan Hai Mujhko!
(Muhammad Iqbal)

The first time, I ever heard a musical rendition by Tina Sani; of this beautiful piece of poetry by Iqbal and also the story behind it from a friend of mine, I instantly gravitated to read the whole text. Since I cannot not read Urdu, I read translations after translation, only to find myself getting attracted to this profound dialogue between the man and God.

I could relate. I felt betrayed after a series of accidents, a lot of debt, careers gone for a toss, family scattered, drinking sinking in me. I felt desolate. I felt deserted. The God that I believed in, had prayed to, for years, suddenly felt non-existent.

Iqbal seemed to be asking the same questions as I had, in different context though. Jawab – e- Shikwa seemed to be answering the questions the same way, as I answered my own. It sounded hollow, it sounded fake, it sounded incapable of providing me with the much needed solace.

It just wouldn’t get fixed, until last year. However, accept it or not, even when life wasn’t turning around, I was apparently constantly dropping pins all over; dots that I now seem to be connecting slowly. Life is slowly turning around and it seems that finally answers to my questions are coming through as well.

Over years, I have also realized that the ways to find answers to questions are varied, diverse and specific to each individual. For some answers come through meditation, for others through activity, for more through chanting, deity worship, astrology, art, science and what not. I still don’t know what helps me find my answers, it’s such a mess at times. As long as I find them though.

I have further realized that everything in this world must be questioned. If it is meant for you and if you ask the right questions, the answers will come. As I ask my questions, I hope you ask yours too and find answers to those questions that really matter.

And of course, in the meanwhile, here's the Tina Sani rendition that got me hooked to the beautiful verses above. Enjoy!

© Anupama 2016 

Monday 3 October 2016

Latest Achievements and Projects

It is interesting how life has taken a turn in an unprecedented direction. This blog was originally meant to be a journal, then a place where I could collate all my writing as a central platform and now it seems to be that one space where I share with the world a summary of all those bits and pieces I keep sharing at all other places.

A lot of good changes have happened over the last few months. This post is meant to count blessings :)

  1. I managed to publish 3 books in the alternative lifestyle space. I am working on three more.
  2. I also managed to quit a full time job and sustain for six months while working on some extremely exciting projects.
  3. I continue to ghost write and build my writer portfolio, but I finally have a vision and a clear sense of direction.
  4. I am taking up a few new projects and once they reach their first milestone, I will love to share them with you all.
  5. Most importantly, I'm able to make a living through writing and also able to be with my loved ones. I am able to pick up my life where I left it almost a decade ago :)

A big thank you to all of you who have stood by my side in solidarity. A big love you to all those who've stayed on the fringes while still watching my back.

Do keep reading and sharing feedback. DO keep requesting for what you would like to read.

© Anupama 2016