10 Reasons for conventional young men to not marry me

Ok, so here's one with the British sense of self-deprecating humour ! No, in fact it's a step further, it's proper self-deprecation ! I'm actually telling you as to why I cannot be the right Indian marriage material !10 reasons to not marry me.

And should you still feel like marrying me, do let me know, I'd be awesome sauce happy to meet you over a coffee.

• I am intelligent and I'm aware of this fact

I have come across - in my not so recent groom hunting exercise against quite a few men whom my father rejected because their families said - "Hamare yahan to decision hum lete hain. Ladies se to bas ek baar poooch lete hain. Karte wahi hain jo humein theek lagta hai!" (At our place, we merely ask the women once but the decision making is done by us. We men do what we deem right.)

Unfortunately you know what? I have seen some life, I've made some critical decisions and choices not just for myself but even others' lives. And I AM aware of my ability to think, analyze and decide. And I'm going to be a tough cookie.

• I call a spade a spade and I am not shallow

Means, I  don't mince my words. I do not hesitate before suggesting a pre-marital counseling, or act all shy about asking whether or not your family seek dowry, or in asking for your medical reports and sharing mine. 

I'm 31. I'm educated. So are you. So there's no need for us to go in circled around whether or not my arm is broken or whether or not can it be ever fixed. Ask me my questions directly and I will respond honestly. And be prepared to return the favor.Your looks don't matter to me, your salary does but only to a point, not beyond it. But your attitude does.

• I communicate and you will need to as well

In case you haven't noticed, I am communicating even now. Perhaps dripping in sarcasm, but I don't see myself  mincing my words here either.Communication is important to me. It's core. If I can't communicate about my desires, needs, limitations to you - who are my prospective spouse, should I be discussing it with the neighbours?

Similarly, I am not a telepathy expert and will need you to tell me what you want, need, desire. You're not looking for a barbie doll, and I am not looking for a 'Sundar Gudda'. We're humans, let's talk, let's communicate and oh, let's do that with honesty !

• I am fiercely independent  

I live alone. I am a working woman. And that means I handle all my shit single handed. In fact I handle it half handed, because since my accident in 2012, where I damaged my left elbow to semi-functionality, I do face challenges with heavier chores. And I still manage all of them myself.

So if you're looking for a housewife material who would depend on you for money and then the banking needed for it and then for you to drop her to kitties and other stuff like that, please forget it !

• I have moods

Just like you have your bad days at work, so do I. I in fact can have bad days at home as well. You know, I'm adjusting around new people, their moods, their preferences and whatever not. Even if I weren't, I am a moody person. I am human you know. So there will be days when I will not want to cook, eat, have sex with you (make love to you - go ahead, use all euphemisms you want) or entertain your household (if we live with your folks). 

There will also be days when I will be chirpy, happy, go-getter and all the rest of the positive adjectives you can think of.

• I am 500 shades of life

This means that I experience dilemmas and conflicts and in various situation and while I may think one thing and discuss another, I may end up doing the third thing entirely because my subconscious has been process that as well.

I am a person who swings throughout the spectrum. So don't expect me to be predictable. No, it doesn't mean that I have no control over my feelings, but if you look forward to sharing my life, you will get to see only truth, even truth that I may not speak of in front of other people, or truth that's ugly.

I am submissive and yet strong, conventional and yet an iconoclast in my own way, extremely family oriented while immensely protective of my own individuality. Opinionated but respectful. And so much more.

• I do not suffer liars and fools

This means just like I am 500 shades of life, so are you (or at least you are 7 shades of the life's rainbow at the least). So I appreciate and understand that you are moody as well and that there will be areas of your life you've covered and those you haven't.

But please don't expect me to suffer lies, however harmful or innocuous. Don't tell me things like  - 'I don't want dowry but my parents do expect gifts' or ' I really want you to work, but my parents want you to stay at home for at least a year'.

If you have the guts or the balls or the liver or the kidney, please tell me what you want and have the courage to pursue it. The least that might happen with truth is that we may end up being only acquaintances and nothing more. The best is that I will be able to respect you so much more as an individual with integrity.

Similarly please don't tell me how your hobby is sports when all you can mention after probing is 'I watch T20'. Don't tell me you want a dominant wife and then later in the next sentence explain to me the concept of a submissive wife. PLEASE know your stuff.

• I am not the MBT (Mataji - Behenji Type) Serial version of a trophy wife

I am not a trophy wife. I am earthly human being. I don't go around with a zero size, nor with a blemish free fair and lovely skin. I have a broken semi - functional elbow, I wear specs and I am a 4 ft. 10 inches tall minion. But I've got my values right. I've got my head, my heart and my intentions in the right place.

I am a lovely hostess but won't suffer lechers. I'm an awesome bahu material but will not tolerate relatives who hurt my in-laws or who taunt my in-laws. I am fiercely protective of my parents, I see no reason why I shouldn't be equally protective of my in-laws.  I am capable of supporting my siblings emotionally and intellectually, I see no reason why I shouldn't be doing the same to my siblings - in - law.

I am not giving to dress up like a pretty doll all the time and / or be the housemaid. Oh please don't be mistaken, I'm all for helping with chores, but don't expect me to be the ATM machine that doubles up as a housemaid and triples up as a 'saji-dhaji gudiya'. I am not someone like Simar who would give up her job if the husband doesn't like the mithai I made (though your mum might be too fond of it)

• I am one to plan before marrying you not after it

I will ask you uncomfortable questions. Questions around your salaries, your loans, your education, your future ambitions, your thoughts on family planning, your medical history, your sexual preferences. I will also share the same information about myself. If you're divorced, I will want to know why did you take it and I will not want to hear crappy reasons like - 'she was characterless'.

Why?

Well, simply because I think these are things that need to be discussed, known, understood, accepted, agreed upon before marrying someone. Not because I want to create a shock factor or because I want to come across as extremely modern. I am not pseudo, I'm just thoughtful, careful and a planner.

• And fir aakhir wo kya hai na ki humse biyaah karna...

Open Invitation - If you're a guy and you're still reading this post, and are willing to forgive me for the sarcasm, while being able to understand, accept and hopefully appreciate the place that I'm coming from; let's meet for coffee !

©Anupama Garg 2015 September

My Birthday

Yes, I know it's been some time since I wrote a post. I have been recently struggling with myself really hard. Trying to give up on a lot of resentment, doing some psycho-emotional experiments,

But all of that for later. Right now, I want to look a month and four days back into my memories, also since some people have shared them with me. And I want to share with you why was my birthday so so special this year.

Partly, because I missed family, but this year in a good way. Partly because unlike last year, this year it was just so much celebration. Unlike last two years, this year I had already seen my family in the month of May and so I wasn't in an overwhelmingly lonely emotional state.

But mostly, because I was cherished and loved so so much.

I had 3 parties, 3 cakes, including one baked at home. I so want to share with you some amazingly happy and loving, family away from home pictures.

1. Home baked cake at a very close friend's place:

2. At work :

3. And at home away from home:

This was an evening so happy and loving. I do not remember a happier evening in my entire 7-8 years in Delhi. And here's a happy picture with the happy people and the yum cake:

4. And of course, there's no counting of the blessing, love, affection and so much warmth that was sent my way through social media, phone, messages and every other possible medium.




All I want to say to you is this :

Thanks people for sending your thoughts, messages, voices and love my way.

Thanks Annie, for baking the cake. Bhak for the organizing.

Thanks my team of colleagues for making me feel cherished with so much warmth, so many smiles.

And thanks Dada, Bhabhi, Uncle Ji, Fr. for being an extended family - a home away from home. For cooking my favourite dishes for me, for blessing me, for feeding me, nurturing me, for making me and my day feel so so so special.

And Mom, Dad, Bhai, Guds, I love you guys so much and see, there are so many people who love me because of the love that you've taught me to share ! Thank you for being with me always, in frames, out of them, on birthdays, on other days, and every day that you can. I missed you guys a lot !

©Anupama Garg 2015 August

Do You Love me?

Do you love me ??

I'm sure literally every one has heard this question and almost everyone asks it. The tone might vary, someone may beg, someone may plead, another may demand, fight, quarrel, try to claim, possess and whatever else it may be. Directly or indirectly, the underlying question will be ALWAYS - Do you love me?

In this post, I will not do philosophy around it, nor is my intent to ask anyone if they love me. My intent is to examine whether I love the people who ask / have asked me this question?

Here's to you, the silent questioner type of people

When you ask me with those sad, distant eyes; or the chirpy ones, excited about meeting me, but not sure if you should ask me the question; I KNOW exactly what you want to ask. Do I love you?

Your quest for my love may not necessarily be sexual in nature, or it may be. You desire may be to just connect with me, or to silently hope to find love in your life VIA me.

And yes, I love you. Even if not for sexual attraction, I love you for your desire itself. I love you for you breathe, for your desire, for you're still alive. I love you for the control you can exercise while not asking that question that so lurks on your lips.

I may not love you the way you want me to, but I love you.

To you, the bold and aggressive

When you approach me like a typical alpha male, hoping to melt me in your arms; when you approach me attracted to me for my brains but eventually wanting to connect with me much more than that; when you ask me that question, looking directly into my eyes; I know what you're asking.

Do I love you? Yes, in a different manner than you love me, in a different way than you want me to love you, but the fact is that I love you too. I love you for your aggression, I love you for the go-getter energy you have, I love you for you're vocal about what you want.

And again, I may not love you the way you want me to, but I love you.

To you, the selfless 
Yes mom, every time I say 'I love you' to you, I love you. And you too dad. And you, my siblings; you who shared the same womb and got nurtured by the same blood and soul as me. You're my soulmates, in the real sense.

I may be insensitive to you, may keep our phone calls short, get irate; I may fail you and annoy you to no end, you're the ones, who never ask me if I love you.

You just believe it and I DO love you. You're right, I love you. And you guys don't have to say 'thank you munna' or 'thank you jiji'. Just say 'we love you too' and I'm as happy as I can ever be:)

I DO love you.

To you the old souls
 All of you, the fellow travelers on the road called life. I love you too. Some of you ask me this question in your friendly ways, some of you through the declaration of your love before you wait for me to respond, some of you claim my love by rejecting mine.

To every spirit in this world who's empathized with the question - Do you love me?

Yes! I do love you.

You're a part of this universe that my soul shares with yours.

And I may not love you the way you seek, but I do do do love you!

I love you!

©Anupama Garg 2015 August

The Men in My life - Dad

So this series of posts is dedicated to all the men in my life. I will mostly avoid taking names, but these are men of all sorts - men of family, kith & kin, friends, lovers, prey, predators, mentors and every other dimension that you can think of.

These are men who have moulded me, men who have shaped me, who have weakened me, who have strenthened me.

And once I am able to write about them, I will also write about their women - their mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, even aunts, and their reaction towards my presence in these men's lives and their presence in mine.

Let's begin with the first set of men - men in immediate family. What better man to start with except the man who brought me into this world. My father !

My father lives healthy at an age of almost 56 (I'm not a bad daughter, but I can't remember birthdays, even those of the immediate family). He's employed, functional, an academic in his own right.

A man of very few words at some times and almost verbiloquous at others, we're talking of a man of deeper and more profound thought than many other men I've seen. We're talking about a man who deeply believed in nurturing kids and human lives.

We're talking of a young father who spares 1/6th of his salary towards his children's reading and music training, a father who spends 95 % of his time outside his job with his children, a father who sets the priority right. Education followed by diet followed by clothing and shelter followed by luxury.

We're talking of a father who also has siblings without children or siblings who aren't married. A father who wants his children to not be brainwashed and yet be able to give pleasure to the extended family, children who are proud but not egoistic, children who are vocal but not loquacious.

We're talking of a father, who doesn't treat his children like property, who is able to talk about sex as openly as he is able to talk about work or music or studies. We're talking of a deeply spiritual person who is capable of questioning the dogma. We're talking of a person who has inculcated both leadership as well as follower qualities in his children, who has focused on moral science and ethics more than the focus on Business Administration or accounting or biology.

A father who says that people should study science because it gives you an approach to study and  arts because it gives you an approach to life, cannot be a common man no matter how common he is.

Of course he's a human being, of course there are planning issues (no one can plan their and their children's lives to the t), of course there are temperamental weaknesses, but we are talking of love, affection, responsibility and a VERY STRONG desire to give the children a good life.

And that should tell you why I am the kind of headstrong and yet family-oriented woman that I am !


Today when I am 31, I know this one Man has made ALL the difference !

Thank you papa!

©Anupama Garg 2015 July

Forever... goodbye

Lion, this is not for you,
you were meant to roar.
Rule the jungle, find your lioness,
and let your dreams together soar.

Dragon, nor is it for you,
you're meant to breathe hot fire.
You already have a dragon heart,
to fulfill every desire.

Bunny, it's not even about you,
you're meant to go around hopping.
To fuck and enjoy,to keep making love,
you're meant to be groped and groping.

This is not for you man either,
you're a rational being, a Dom.
If not for lesser mortals like me,
for higher purposes you were born.

But this is for you my love,
you whom I loved with my heart, blood and soul.
And this is for you my love,
you whose heart is made of gold.

And you too, my long lost love,
you who licked my tears off my cheeks.
And for you, who pecked at my soul,
like a mother hen peaks at her babies' beaks.

This is for you my last love,
you who licked my wounds and pain.
You who left me alone, coz that made sense,
you, for whose leaving, I don't complain.

And for you my broken heart,
who aches with desire,
for the eternal blood sucking vampire.

To you my shattered soul,
as your pieces are played with like balls in golf.
And you my numb body,
as you crave for your werewolf.

And to you who strip your true self bare,
yes you, who crave for that grizzly bear.

It is to you that I say goodbye,
to you whom I don't see eye to eye.

I implore....
... just say goodbye

My wounds ooze and cry..
... please say goodbye

May your dreams soar high.
... good. bye.

To the moon may you fly...
... move on..
goodbye

Don't worry, let me cry,
you fly, goodbye

Don't worry, if I die,
I love you,
goodbye.

To you my love...
...forever, goodbye.



©Anupama Garg 2015 July

The Monkey God who gave golden discs to the old ma

So, this one's coming right from my Grandma's chest. Both figuratively and literally for I fealth her breath calm as she would narrate this to me, my head in her lap. The fact is that I've been raised in a Hindu household and in a Marwari family,and brought up with lots and lots of childhood stories out of my grandma's chest.And true , her heart was a chest of age old wisdom, faith, devotion and the simplistic love that generation held for their family toddlers !

So, this particular story used to be a Tuesday special. I've narrated it in Marwari first and the English translation has followed with a few lines about what this story does to me even now, when I'm almost 31, every time I listen to it, or narrate it to anyone who understands the language.

The dialect I've used is not standard I believe, but I've tried to be loyal to my grandma's pronunciation, as much as I could. And I've attempted to use a picture of the Ghati wale Hanumaan ji, thanks again to my grand mother's devout faith in that temple in that particular deity and temple.

एक बाला साब की डोकरी ही । रोज दो रोठ करती, एक आप खाती, एक बाला साब न खवाती । एक दिन डोकरी न बुखार आग्यो । रोठा तो पोया, पण मिन्दर कोन'गी ।

बाला साब आया -  "डोकरी, डोकरी, रोठ !"
" म्हाराज, चूल्हा लारै पड़्या है । "

बाला साब जो - गंवहां का रोठ ले ग्या, सोना रूपा का धर ग्या।

पाड़ोसण आँच लेबा आई । सोना रूपा का चक्कर देख्या तो राजा कन` जा`र बोली "म्हाराज थाने सोहवै कै डोकरी नै सोहवै ?"

राजो रागड्यो निर्भागी;बी की मत मारी'गी - "म्हाने सोहवै, डोकरी नै काँई सोहवै ।" बो डोकरी नै बुलाई। राजा रोठ लेवै, जो - गंवहां का हो जावै; डोकरी लेवै, सोना रूपा का हो जावै ।

"बोल डोकरी ! कुण का चोर ल्याई ? कुण नै मार ल्याई?"

"म्हाराज, कोई का चोर ल्याई, न  कोई नै मार ल्याई । मनै म्हारा बालाजी म्हाराज टूठ्या । "

"देख डोकरी! साँची बोल, नहीं तो सूळी पर चढ़ा द्यूंला ।"

डोकरी लाण कण जाणै न कामण  - "म्हाराज कण जाणूँ न कामण, मनै तो म्हारा बालाजी म्हाराज टूठ्या ।" राजा डोकरी नै कोटड़ी मैँ घला दी । डोकरी लाण बाला साब को नाम ले र सोगी ।

रात का राजा का सपना म बालाजी म्हाराज आया । " देख रै राजा ! डोकरी का दो रोठ पाछी दे दीजै नहीं तो थारी सोना की नगरी की लंका बाळ द्यूंला!"

राजा की बुद्धि ठाणे आई। सुबह होतां ही डोकरी न बुला'र रोठा पाछी दिया । "लै अयै डोकरी, म्हें तनै टूठ्या !"

डोकरी ठैरी बाला साब की भगत - " म्हाराज थे टूठता तो इतरा दिन टूठता , मनै म्हारा बालाजी म्हाराज टूठ्या । "

डोकरी रोठ ले`र घरै चले`गी ।

हे बालाजी महाराज ! डोकरी नै टूठ्या जिस्या सक्कळ नै टूठजो, राजा नै रूस्या जिस्या कोई नै मत रूठजो । घटती की पूरी करजो, पूरी का परमाण छोड़जो । दो नाम घटता, दो नाम बढ़ता ! 

____________

English Translation

Once upon a time ( I know stereotypical, but afterall it's my grandma narrating this story ! :)

So, once upon a time, there was a devotee of Sri Hanumaan Ji. An old, venerable grandma, who used to cook two thick chapatis in her fireplace. She would go to the Hanumaan temple daily, without fail and offer one roti to Sri Hanumaan ji and eat the other as prasad.

One day, the grandma fell sick and couldn't visit the temple. Such was the power of her devotion that Hanumaan Ji came to her house and asked for his roti. When she told Him that the rotis were lying behind the small alcove where she used to cook them, He picked up the wheat - barley chapatis and replaced them with Gold and silver discs.

Now, those were days when people would keep at least some light in either their fireplaces, or their lamps or lanterns. It was rare in a household to not have some light which could be used to light a fire. 

But then if THAT would be true, how would women folk (specially the younger ones, with their mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, watching them constantly), get an opportunity to talk to the neighbouring woman? :)

But no one minded going to our grandma's place, for she was well respected, humble, pious and non-gossiper. And it so happened that a neighboring woman came to ask for some fire. Since the old ma was sick, the neighbour went to the alcove to take fire herself and saw the gleaming precious disks.

Now, this neighbor obviously got jealous and complained to the King. Apparently the king wasn't easy to satisfy when it came to his greed despite his huge wealth. But to his dismay, the moment  he touched the discs, they got converted to normal rotis.

Our grandma was summoned and questioned. Poor, simple and humble as she was, she denied all accusations of robbery, theft or stealing. She simply said - "Hanumaan ji had come and must have kept them near the alcove!"And as obvious as that is, she was not believed and sentenced to death after a day on imprisonment.

That night a miracle happened! The king dreamt that he was visited by a very angry Hanumaan Ji ! Hanumaan ji destroyed his beautiful city, just like he'd done to the opulent Lanka! The king was trembling, shivering and was hoping for Hanumaan Ji to calm down, as the great Monkey- God roared, thumped, jumped furiously calling out for the king.

It took king superhuman effort to present himself and offer his obeisances. It was then that Hanumaan Ji told the king that if out of greed the king kills the old ma, his city would burn just like Lanka did.

Such a scary dream it was that the king woke up with a jolt. Sweat broke on his face as he noticed with relief that it was only a dream. He immediately called his jailor and asked him to remove the lady from the prison and put her into the kingly abode.

In the morning the first thing he did was summon his court and return the precious discs to the ols ma saying - " I'm happy with you and I give you back these discs as a reward to your honesty. "


The old ma as simple she might be, was certainly not gullible and a fool. She folded her hands, covered her head, remembered Sri Hanumaan Ji and said - "Maharaj! If you were the one rewarding me these, you'd have done it all these years, it's my Hanumaan Ji who blessed me!"

______________________

And with this, MY grandmother would fold her hands, cover her head and remember her Ishta Dev, the so-called Monkey God, the Devotee God, Sri Hanumaan Ji, who had delievered her so many times. She'd pray to Him to bless the entireuniverse, the way He did to the old woman, and not get angry at anyone like He did to the king. My grandma would hope that she's chanted sufficient names and would forgiveness for any wrong counts.

And... I know it for a fact, that my parents would narrate these stories back to my children. And some day, if I become a grandma, I will do the same - fold my hands and narrate the story of the woman who got golden discs for her devoted rotis.

Disclaimer - This is a very traditional story. My copyright is only for my style, not the content of the story.







©Anupama Garg 2015 July

10 Aphrodisiacs for My Orgasms

1. Books

I love them!! They're orgasmic ! And this, only a book lover can understand. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, genres, price ranges... and each of them tickles the grey cells that make me step into a different world.
They make me wonder about the world, about myself, about people, about life, about every thing the written word can communicate and about everything that it can't ! They have been the first love of my life and I wonder if I'll ever break up with them??

2. Music
All sorts, except western. Folk, Bollywood, Classical, Rabindra Sangeet, instrumental, vocal, devotional, sufi,everything and anything is a mind-shattering experience. And if I understand the lyrics it's even better!

It's interesting how instant a turn off can western music be for me, unless it's an exceptionally soft romantics from the likes of the Titanic. So THIS one is actually what my psychoemotional orgasmic states can vary because of.

3. Erotica
Does this come as a surprise. I'm sorry if I shocked you, but I'm not sorry to list this one here. However, please know that this is not the same as a porn flick. I am talking once again, my dear reader, of the written word - I am talking of the written erotica !

I am by no means talking of the sleazy Savita Bhabhi or the Mast Ram (never read them beyond a borrowed book or two), and nor am I talking of the graphic descriptions of what they publish on 100s of porn sites. I am talking of the classy sensual, control and D/s oriented well-written erotic literature.
Not the steaming creampie stories, but the mild love making combined with age difference, leadership, submission and a lot more.

4. Pain
Now this one's a little complicated. This is about what makes me who I am. I have ever since enjoyed masochism of an intellectual sort. No, am not talking of the pain that I felt when my brother was critical. That was sheer misery!

Do not please mistake me! As anal as I am about my word choice, I do NOT enjoy misery at all, but pain. And this emotional craving for pain makes me fall into bad relationships, because most 'good' men cannot relate with this need in a woman. More so, when it manifests further in the physicality it's easy for any man to get freaked out.

But what you really have to understand is that I acknowledge this desire and I would never EVER in my dreams thinking of imposing it on a non-consenting person in a non-consensual manner. There is a lot more that can be said on this, but I think I'll digress if I don't move on to the next one.

5 .Friendships and Extended Kinship

Intellectual masturbation is so much fun !! More so when it's with people who reciprocate with full vigour. Further, intellectual masturbation is fun only when  people do it without a malicious intent. It is fun only if it is for the genuine and loving reasons.

And that my friend can only happen when you connect with people to be friends, to be their kin, to be their extended family, without an ulterior motive of your own. It is possible when you really love them and relate with them.

And blessed I am with so many wonderful people in my life that this thrill of connecting with people who love, share and want to be loved back is something that gives me a solid high.


6. Food - eaten with others
I am a vegetarian and much as I deny it, the fact is that I am a foodie! But I can't eat alone. I can feed myself if I'm hungry, but I don't nourish over food I can't share. A few shared morsels are good enough for my spirits (my body needs what it does), but even a plateful can sit there in my fridge for almost a week, should I have to eat alone.

And when it comes to sharing, I share it with anyone / everyone I can strike up a conversation with. My tastebuds tickled well are certainly a path for a good sleep and in turn my happy moods.

7. A thorough head massage

Warm oil, a heavy hand, preferably a masculine hand, or that of someone like a hefty / well built / tall friend, or the hand of family / extended family; is exotic. It is extremely soothing, relaxing and yet so powerfully arousing in its own way.

Not all arousal / orgasm has to necessarily manifest into cumming and trust me, this one doesn't. But the bliss after it's over is no different. It may not be about bodily fluids, but the energy, exchange is no different.


8. Work

Another aphrodisiac, specially and more so because it can really take you to a different world. A world of reality which is as surreal as a subspace after pain. It is one of those worlds that cause you to crib, enjoy the thrill, the passion, the work, all and everything at the same time.

This however at times, takes a toll on my emotional and mental well being more so when the pressure is high. But since work for its own sake is what my driving factor has always been, I work happily.

What it means is that, whether I'm paid less or more, I will usually put in my 100 percent or rather 150 % (if I'm acknowledged properly), irrespective of what I'm paid for the job. If I'm dissatisfied about everything, I'll simply quit and not be there suffering myself or making others suffer.

But the fact is that at most times, when I'm at work, I'm in that trance like state where I do not want to think anything else and when I leave from work, I will not leave it behind, because pondering over work, gives me a very different sort of a thrill - a thrill that's almost orgasmic!


9. Creating art with Hands

Creating art with hands is divine! Thanks to the upbringing I received, doing one or the other art and craft hobby class every year, I can color, I can paint a little, I can paint cloth, I can embroid, make costume jewelry, knit, sew a little, quill, write, make stuffed toys, puppets, cards and what nots.

And believe me if you will, the thrill is divine! Intoxicating, exhilarating, liberating, meditative. It is as good as any other of the factors listed above.


10. Writing Poetry

Did I tell you that this one is not about an orgasm but about survival? Well, I did, didn't I? Please say I did !!! (Pouts* )

Well poetry is existential for me. It is my essence and my existence. And by this I mean poetry as a form of expression for me. I have to write poetry to survive. I can miss out on orgasms, but not on oxygen. And a writer's block actually suffocates me, kills me inside, makes me dead and hollow.

Poetry heals, enlivens, keeps me alive, makes me survive AND gives me mind shattering orgasms!! Erotic Poetry even leads me to physical ones! And of course you can't have an orgasm unless you breathe.

Enough about my aphrodisiacs, tell me what are yours? Pretty please !


©Anupama Garg 2015 July

A bottle full of many a contradiction

Power,
Submission....
I want you, craving for you,
but I will not have sex with you.
I've never felt that it's equal to making love with you.\

My heart makes love,
my body craves for sex,
my mind desires the entire gamut of socio-cultural action.

My soul however,
wonders with awe,
at this wiered concoction.

I want money,
but not at your cost,
nor at anyone else's.
I want my my money.

What would you think if I said,
I want only the hard earned baubles,
would you really get it from there honey??

Entrapped and yet free
seeking absolute
I'm a genie,
in anticipation.

I'm a genie,
trapped in a bottle,
a bottle full of many a contradiction.

©Anupama Garg 2015 March

Kitani Girahein Kholi Hain Maine - Gulzar

Kitni girhein kholi hain maine, kitni girhein ab baaki hai

paanv mein payal, baahon mein kangan, gale mein hansli, kamar band, challe aur bichue

naak kaan chidwaayein gaye hain, aur zevar zevar kehte kehte

reet rivaaj ke rassiyon se main jakdi gayi ,uff kitni tarah main pakdi gayi

ab chilne lage hain haath paanv, aur kitni kharaashein ubhri hain,

kitni girhein kholi hain maine, kitni rassiyaan utari hain

Ang ang mera roop rang, mere naksh nain, mere bol bain

meri aawaaz mein koyal ki tareef hui, mere zulf saanp, meri zulf raat,

zulfon mein ghata mere lab gulaab, meri aankhein sharaab

ghazal aur nazmein kehte kehte husn aur ishq ke afasano mein main jakdi gayi

uff kitni tarah main pakdi gayi

main poochun zara, aankhon mein sharaab dikhe sabko, akaash nahi dekha koi

saawan bhado to dikhe magar, kya dard nahi dekha koi

phan ki jheeni si chaadar mein, buth cheele gaye uriyaani ke

taaga taaga karke poshaaq utaari gayi

mere jism pe phan ki mashq hui, aur art kala kehte kehte sange marmar mein jakdi gayi

batlaaye koi batlaaye koi, kitni girhein kholi hain maine, kitni girhein ab baaki hain

 - Gulzar

Peethal aur Paathal - Kanhaiyalal Sethiya

अरै घास री रोटी ही,
जद बन बिलावड़ो ले भाग्यो।
नान्हो सो अमर्यो चीख पड्यो,
राणा रो सोयो दुख जाग्यो।

हूं लड्यो घणो हूं सह्यो घणो,
मेवाड़ी मान बचावण नै,
हूं पाछ नहीं राखी रण में,
बैर्यां री खात खिडावण में,

जद याद करूँ हळदी घाटी
नैणां में रगत उतर आवै,
सुख दुख रो साथी चेतकड़ो
सूती सी हूक जगा ज्यावै,

पण आज बिलखतो देखूं हूँ,
जद राज कंवर नै रोटी नै,
तो क्षात्र-धरम नै भूलूं हूँ,
भूलूं हिंदवाणी चोटी नै

मैं’लां में छप्पन भोग जका
मनवार बिनां करता कोनी,
सोनै री थाल्यां नीलम रै
बाजोट बिनां धरता कोनी,

ऐ हाय जका करता पगल्या,
फूलां री कंवळी सेजां पर,
बै आज रुळै भूखा तिसिया,
हिंदवाणै सूरज रा टाबर,

आ सोच हुई दो टूक तड़क
राणा री भीम बजर छाती,
आंख्यां में आंसू भर बोल्या
मैं लिख स्यूं अकबर नै पाती,

पण लिखूं कियां जद देखै है
आडावळ ऊंचो हियो लियां,
चितौड़ खड्यो है मगरां में
विकराळ भूत सी लियां छियां,

मैं झुकूं कियां ? है आण मनैं
कुळ रा केसरिया बानां री,
मैं बुझूं कियां ? हूं सेस लपट
आजादी रै परवानां री,

पण फेर अमर री सुण बुसक्यां
राणा रो हिवड़ो भर आयो,
मैं मानूं हूँ दिल्लीस तनैं
समराट् सनेषो कैवायो।

राणा रो कागद बांच हुयो
अकबर रो’ सपनूं सो सांचो,\
पण नैण कर्यो बिसवास नहीं
जद बांच - २  नै फिर बांच्यो,

कै आज हिंमाळो पिघळ बह्यो,
कै आज हुयो सूरज सीतळ,
कै आज सेस रो सिर डोल्यो,
आ सोच हुयो समराट् विकळ,

बस दूत इसारो पा भाज्यो
पीथळ नै तुरत बुलावण नै,
किरणां रो पीथळ आ पूग्यो
ओ सांचो भरम मिटावण नै,

बीं वीर बांकुड़ै पीथळ नै,
रजपूती गौरव भारी हो,
बो क्षात्र धरम रो नेमी हो,
राणा रो प्रेम पुजारी हो,

बैर्यां रै मन रो कांटो हो
बीकाणूँ पूत खरारो हो,
राठौड़ रणां में रातो हो
बस सागी तेज दुधारो हो,

आ बात पातस्या जाणै हो,
धावां पर लूण लगावण नै,
पीथळ नै तुरत बुलायो हो,
राणा री हार बंचावण नै,

म्है बाँध लियो है पीथळ सुण
 पिंजरै में जंगळी शेर पकड़,
ओ देख हाथ रो कागद है
तूं देखां फिरसी कियां अकड़ ?

मर डूब चळू भर पाणी में,
बस झूठा गाल बजावै हो,
पण टूट गयो बीं राणा रो,
तूं भाट बण्यो बिड़दावै हो,

मैं आज पातस्या धरती रो
मेवाड़ी पाग पगां में है,
अब बता मनै किण रजवट रै
रजपती खून रगां में है ?

जंद पीथळ कागद ले देखी,
राणा री सागी सैनाणी,
नीचै स्यूं धरती खसक गई,
आंख्यां में आयो भर पाणी,

पण फेर कही ततकाळ संभळ
आ बात सफा ही झूठी है,
राणा री पाघ सदा ऊँची
राणा री आण अटूटी है।

ल्यो हुकम हुवै तो लिख पूछूं,
राणा नै कागद रै खातर,
लै पूछ भलांई पीथळ तूं, \
आ बात सही बोल्यो अकबर,

म्हे आज सुणी है नाहरियो,
स्याळां रै सागै सोवैलो,
म्हे आज सुणी है सूरजड़ो,
बादळ री ओटां खोवैलो;

म्हे आज सुणी है चातगड़ो,
धरती रो पाणी पीवैलो,
म्हे आज सुणी है हाथीड़ो,
कूकर री जूणां जीवैलो

म्हे आज सुणी है थकां खसम,
अब रांड हुवैली रजपूती,
म्हे आज सुणी है म्यानां में,
तरवार रवैली अब सूती,

तो म्हांरो हिवड़ो कांपै है
मूंछ्यां री मोड़ मरोड़ गई,
पीथळ नै राणा लिख भेज्यो
आ बात कठै तक गिणां सही ?

पीथळ रा आखर पढ़तां ही,
राणा री आँख्यां लाल हुई,
धिक्कार मनै हूँ कायर हूँ,
 नाहर री एक दकाल हुई,

हूँ भूख मरूं हूँ प्यास मरूं,
मेवाड़ धरा आजाद रवै
हूँ घोर उजाड़ां में भटकूं,
पण मन में मां री याद रवै,

हूँ रजपूतण रो जायो हूं
रजपूती करज चुकाऊंला,
ओ सीस पड़ै पण पाघ नही
दिल्ली रो मान झुकाऊंला,

पीथळ के खिमता बादल री,
जो रोकै सूर उगाळी नै,
सिंघां री हाथळ सह लेवै,
बा कूख मिली कद स्याळी नै?

धरती रो पाणी पिवै इसी,
चातग री चूंच बणी कोनी,
कूकर री जूणां जिवै इसी,
हाथी री बात सुणी कोनी,

आं हाथां में तलवार थकां,
कुण रांड़ कवै है रजपूती ?
म्यानां रै बदळै बैर्यां री,
छात्याँ में रैवैली सूती,

मेवाड़ धधकतो अंगारो
आंध्यां में चमचम चमकैलो,
कड़खै री उठती तानां पर
पग पग पर खांडो खड़कैलो,

राखो थे मूंछ्याँ ऐंठ्योड़ी,
लोही री नदी बहा द्यूंला,
हूँ अथक लडूंला अकबर स्यूँ,
उजड्यो मेवाड़ बसा द्यूंला,

जद राणा रो संदेष गयो
पीथळ री छाती दूणी ही,
हिंदवाणों सूरज चमकै हो
अकबर री दुनियां सूनी ही।



 - कन्हैया लाल सेठिया

Hum Ladenge Saathi - Avtar Singh Sandhu Paash

हम लड़ेंगे साथी, उदास मौसम के ख़िलाफ़
हम लड़ेंगे साथी, गुलाम इच्छाओं के लिये…….
हम चुनेंगे साथी, जिंदगी के टुकड़े
हथौड़ा अब भी चलता है, उदास निहाई पर
हल अब भी चलता हैं चीखती धरती पर
यह काम हमारा नहीं बनता है, प्रश्न नाचता है
प्रश्न के कंधों पर चढ़कर
हम लड़ेंगे साथी……………..
कत्ल हुए जज्बों की कसम खाकर
बुझी हुई नजरों की कसम खाकर
हाथों पर पड़े घट्टों की कसम खाकर
हम लड़ेंगे साथी…………………………….
हम लड़ेंगे तब तक
जब तक वीरू बकरिहा
बकरियों का मूत पीता है
खिले हुए सरसों के फूल को
जब तक बोने वाले खुद नहीं सूंघते
कि सूजी आंखों वाली
गांव की अध्यापिका का पति जब तक
युद्ध से लौट नहीं आता………………………
जब तक पुलिस के सिपाही
अपने भाईयों का गला घोटने को मजबूर हैं
कि दफतरों के बाबू
जब तक लिखते हैं लहू से अक्षर…………….
हम लड़ेंगे जब तक
दुनिया में लड़ने की जरुरत बाकी है
जब तक बंदूक न हुई, तब तक तलवार होगी
जब तलवार न हुई, लड़ने की लगन होगी
लड़ने का ढंग न हुआ, लड़ने की जरूरत होगी……………………
और हम लड़ेंगे साथी
हम लड़ेंगे
कि लड़े बगैर कुछ नहीं मिलता
हम लड़ेंगे
कि अब तक लड़े क्यों नहीं
हम लड़ेंगे
अपनी सजा कबूलने के लिए
लड़ते हुए जो मर गए
उनकी याद जिंदा रखने के लिए
हम लड़ेंगे……………………………………………..

 - अवतार सिंह संधु 'पाश'

Wo Safed Roomal - The white handkerchief

उस शाम

जब घर नहीं थी मैं

और तुम दो गाँठें

एक सफ़ेद रूमाल की

बाँध गए चुपके से

घर के ताले में?

तो मेरे मन का दुःख,

तन की व्याधि

सब अचानक बह गयी मानो परनाले में ।

 

करते क्या हो आखिर

इतने दर्द का??

जो एक ही झटके में

हर लेते हो,

आत्मा से मेरी ??

कहाँ से लाते हो

कठोर स्नेह इतना ??

कि सामने मिलने आओ न आओ,

मगर तबीयत नासाज़ होने पर

मेरे पीछे से भी दे जाते हो घर की फेरी??

और वो वाला दर्द कहाँ से लाते हो ?

जो लम्बे अरसे तक

कचोटता है मन को,

तब,
 जब तुम्हें आँखों से छूने

और कानों से पी लेने को

अस्तित्त्व का हर टुकड़ा तरसता है??

और वो वाला?

जिसे तुमसे पा कर भी,
तुमसे नफरत, गुस्सा, खीझ, पीड़ा, दुःख नहीं मिलते,
बल्कि लगता है,
कि तुम्हारा दर्द है.....
तो
मुझमें जीवन अब भी बसता है !

सुनो !

अगली बार जब आओ,

तो मेरे मिलने के बावजूद,

अपनी खुशबु से बसा तुम्हारा रूमाल फिर छोड़ जाना ।

अगली बार जब आओ,

तो

हर बार की तरह

मेरे दिमाग में कोई सवाल फिर छोड़ जाना ।।

Safed Roomaal

सुनो !
अगली बार जब - २ भी आओ

मेरे पूरे अस्तित्त्व पर

अपना भीना - महकता ख्याल फिर छोड़ जाना ।

सुनो,

अगली बार.……
थोड़ा जल्दी आना,

अगली बार........
मेरे सामने आना !

आओगे न ???



That dusky evening,
I wasn't around,
to the two knots of the handkerchief,
that you tied around the lock,
I'm still bound.
All misery,illness,
it left me all..
at the drop of a hat,
and now I feel sound.

Afterall, what do you with such pain?
one that you absorb from my soul?
Where do you find the stern disciplinary love from?
that whether or not you meet me,
you make sure to visit my door even behind me,
when I feel un-whole.

And pain, of that type...
which gnaws at my heart
and wrenches me,
when my eyes crave to devour you,
and my ears
crave to drink !
And when every ounce of my being,
craves for you,
driven to the edge and the brink?

And THAT?
Which comes from you
and still doesn't make me miserable,
but causes realization to dawn upon me.
It is this pain that
makes my heart soar,
this pain
that lets me be???

Hear me if you will,
whenever you visit me next,
despite meeting me,
leave me a handkerchief,
soaked in you...
Next time when you arrive,
leave for me a question,
and also its cue...
Whenever you come next,
every time you come again,
sprinkle your being,
your essence on me,
my individuality.

And
come soon...
next time,
let me see you, my moon.
Please???

©Anupama Garg 2015 March

Ceramic mended with gold - The Kintsugi of your soul

So finally I managed to write it, thanks to a friend who posted it on facebook as his status. The Japanese art of mending broken pots and bowls with gold is a symbolic representation of people who mend their lives after bring broken to pieces.

The most skillful master is the one who can join the finest shards with perfection. And how true that is! The wisest of the people is one who can rise as a phoenix from ashes, wear the scars as badges of honor and trust me, I could think of endless other similes.

But the question, I want to really share and ponder upon with you, is the why?

Why should there be a need to mend yourself, why should there be a need to even feel broken? Why should there be a need to break for anyone.

And then I think of the reason. What needs to be done is just be.

Kinstugi - the art that makes even scars precious and beautiful

Being broken is a part of surviving. Being able to mend the broken self is a part of being alive. But being mend clay with gold is moving towards immortality. Slowly, steadily, but consistently....

©Anupama Garg 2015 March

People - Him and Physics

When it comes to people in my life, I've met a lot of touchstones.And the more I met of them, the greedier I got. The lessons of life (and I've yet had only a few of them) were often tough, but more often, I could handle them, only because I had those holding my hand.

This is about a man, I've admired, looked up to, held in high regard not because of what he did or at what phase of my life he did it to me, but how he did it.. He started with things that had something to do with Physics and it's now about to my entire life

And what did he do? Really what? He taught me physics!

This man, the man I'm talking of, tried to not even accept me in his tutelage to begin with because he said that he taught boys and he didn't have a girls' batch. And I was fine with that. I, who hadn't spoken to any boy except brothers, cousins and family friends, was sitting in an all boys' batch, completely at a loss when it came to vectors and physical mathematics and calculations.

I didn't even feel nice about being there any longer. I wanted to vanish and go into hiding somewhere underground when he asked me if I knew vectors, I refused and he facepalmed himself.

"Now that you don't know it, let me teach you vectors before anything else. Actually if you ask me it's real simple!"

• The Dot Product
• The Cross Product
• The Vector Addition

That was it ! I who was phobic of physics, was now sitting with H.C. Verma volume 2, competing against myself to finish off 50 problems a day! And that might not be any achievement for any of you who prepared for IITs and made it to those good colleges out there, to me, at that time, it was !!! :)

And eventually he stopped teaching me physics. But he had already started teaching and had taught me life THROUGH physics. His atom was not the circular Rutherford diagram I saw in books. His atom was  Shaktiman coming to life ! His heat and thermodynamics wasn't that wiered set of formulae, it was the warmth I felt in my heart ! Semiconductors were no longer some geek-looking stuff, but was actually a concept that put me in awe of what the world could be like, if not for these tiny looking atoms.

His tutelage was not physics, it was the protection from an anonymous stranger who stalked me, it was a set of words which said "Is it the first time a guy approached you? It's OK, you'll get used to it. Relax!"

His tutelage might have stopped after a year or two, his nurturing never did. At least not as long as we were in the same city. Not even when I started teaching physics with the same passion on an individual one - on - one basis to students. He gave me that passion for physics that I would have otherwise lost and the passion for life as well and that I have till date.

And the best compliment I've ever received from him, "She's a friend who used to be a student", in front of some juniors a few years later.

And one of the most precious signatures I've retrieved in my life is a piece of paper on which he wrote "Excellent" for solving a Physics problem he didn't expect anyone to solve.

In fact, while I will be eternally grateful for some forces even stronger than his to force me to think, analyze, understand and link a concept to another, I truly believe that had I not learnt physics from him, I wouldn't have loved philosophy the way I do!

It was never just about physics, it was also about poetry, it was also about music, my singing, my dad, my brother, it was always about everything. And I'm editing this post again on 19/3/2014. Because an incident today is the living proof of the fact that his nurturing hasn't stopped, his affection hasn't ceased, and it never will!

It is nice to see a picture of him recently on FB. Here's the man I'm talking about :

If you're reading this, all I want to say to you is:

Thank you!

Thank you for being who you are!

©Anupama Garg 2015 March

All that I want to write about myself

Ok, so I have finally decided that I do need to write more frequently and more regularly. How and what to write is something I'm still not sure about. But then memes are always a good way to begin writing anything that you want to know more.

And at this moment I want to know more about myself. I am going to explore myself and write more about me, irrespective of the fact that some people might think of myself as narcissistic. So the following are a few Memes I'll write :

1. 10 things I like / love
2. 10 things I totally dislike
3. 10 books that changed my life
4. 10 people who influenced my life deeply
5. 10 movies I totally loved
6. 10 songs that moved me
7. 10 hobbies I have so far indulged in
8. 10 dilemmas of my life
9. 10 things people do not understand about me
10. 10 most obvious facts about me
11. 10 things very few people know about me (very few close people)
12. 10 things I crave for but won't have in most likelihood
13. 10 'never say nevers' of my life
14. 10 things I love in myself
15. 10 things people say they love in me
16. 10 things I would like to change in my life
17. 10 things I wish had never discovered.
18. 10 houses I've lived in
19. 10 strongly positive memories in my life
20. 10 strongly negative memories in my life
21. 10 people I worked with and still remember
22. 10 reasons why I write
23. 10 Reasons I haven't been home in last 2 years
24. 10 reasons I am who I am
25. 10 things I love about my current job
26. 10 things I do not love about my current job
27. 10 things I'd like to change in the world
28. 10 wishes if I were granted
29. 10 things I'd pray for
30. 10 friends who became extended family
31. 10 lessons I learnt the hard way
32. 10 ways I tested my parents' patience
33. 10 sacrifices my parents and siblings made for me
34. 10 actions I wish I had never done
35. 10 people I'd like to say a sorry to
36. 10 blessings I've counted 
37. 10 people I'd like to say a thank you to
38. 10 things I'm scared of
39. 10 experiences that changed me deeper than I knew
40. 10 Things I would never want to change in my life.

And then I'm sure you'll come up with more suggestions.

For now, stay tuned.... for I'm posting this while I am on a self-destructively workoholic trip.

©Anupama Garg 2015 February

Ek kaur Khichdi - खिचड़ी का एक कौर

कुछ दाल,
थोड़ा चावल ।
कुछ मुस्कराहट,
बहुत बरसते बादल ॥

मुट्ठी भर खिचड़ी,
तबीयत नासाज़,
कुछ बिगड़ी ।

नीचे ठण्ड में खड़े ना रहना पड़े ज़्यादा तुम्हे
इसलिए दौड़ आना तीन मंज़िल;
और चुपचाप मेरा पालतू बिल्ली सा
तुम्हारे पीछे पीछे
फिर सीढ़ी चढ़ जाना ।


मैंने भगवान को भोग
कम ही लगाया है,
पर जब तक हो सके
खाना किसी के साथ ही खाया है ।


जूठा खिलाने में मगर,
हमेशा शर्म आती है;
और वो भी खिचड़ी ??


तुम्हारा मुझसे थाली माँगना
सकुचा गया मुझे,
उसी में से एक कौर खा लेना
भिगा गया मुझे ।
और फिर एक कौर मुझे अपने हाथ से खिलाना
मेरी मुर्दनी से जिला गया मुझे ॥
उसी एक कौर खिचड़ी के भरोसे


पिछले पूरे हफ्ते,
मैं ज़िन्दगी का ज़हर
उफ़ किये बिना पी गयी ।
उसी एक कौर खिचड़ी के भरोसे
मैं फिर एक बार जी गयी । ।




©Anupama Garg 2015 January

Agni Pareeksha

This is a poem on how the contemporary woman feels on the legends of Devi Sita, Anusuya and others to be forcefully set as examples to be followed.While I personally believe that they were exemplary women, I also believe in the supremacy of consent, irrespective of socio-cultural norms.

I do not claim to be a spokesperson for the  contemporary woman, nor am I radical feminist, activist. I simply state how I would feel if I were to live an exemplary life. I do not seek to be raised to the high pedestal of a Devi but to remain the mortal human I am.

Below is a poem, that I've transliterated in Roman Hindi, for some of my readers, simply for the ease of reading. Please note that this isn't a translation.



Raam banne ka daayitva jab odha ha tumne,
To kya socha tha?
Seeta main banoongi har baar???

राम बनने का दायित्व जब ओढ़ा था तुमने,
तो क्या सोचा था?
 सीता मैं बनूँगी हर बार???

Main banti seeta,
har baar banti,
Basharte apni ichchhha se,
Magar mere seeta banne ke badle,
Tumhe kyon mile,
Har baar meri Agni Pareksha ka Adhikaar???

मैं बनती सीता,
हर बार बनती,
बशर्ते अपनी इच्छा से,
मगर मेरे सीता बनने के बदले,
तुम्हें क्यों मिले,
हर बार मेरी अग्नि-परीक्षा का अधिकार???

Tumse to ravan bhala,
jisne shareer zaroor baandha,
Magar mere man par nahi kiya atyachaar.
Meri haan ka,
Jo ant tak karta raha intezaar,
meri naa ke uttar mein jiska sab kuch lut gaya,
Sone ki lanka hui char char...

तुमसे तो रावण भला,
जिसने शरीर ज़रूर बाँधा,
मगर मेरे मन पर,
नहीं किया अत्याचार।
मेरी हाँ का जिसने,
अंत तक किया इंतज़ार,
मेरी ना के उत्तर में जिसका सब कुछ लूट गया,
सोने की लंका हुई छार - छार.


Tumhare maryada purushottam hone ka dansh saha maine,
Yaad rakho isiliye hoti hai tumhari jai jaikaar.

तुम्हारे मर्यादा पुरुषोत्तम होने का दंश सहा मैंने,
याद रखो, इसीलिए होती है, तुम्हारी जय जयकार !!

Tumhe raam banne ka shauk hai?
Zaroor bano!!!

तुम्हें राम बनने का शौक  है?
ज़रूर बनो !!!

Tumhe raam banne ka shauk hai,
Zaroor bano,
Nahi rokoongi tumhe,
Magar yaad rakhna,
main nahi banoongi seeta har baar...

तुम्हें राम बनने का शौक  है?
ज़रूर बनो !!!
नहीं रोकूंगी तुम्हें ।
मगर याद रखना,
मैं नहीं बनूँगी सीता हर बार!!


Tumhe raam banne ka shauk hai,
Bano,
Zaroor bano
Nahi rokoongi,
Magar yaad rakhna,
Main nahin banoongi seeta iss baar !!!

तुम्हें राम बनने का शौक  है?
ज़रूर बनो !!!
नहीं रोकूंगी!
मगर याद रखना,
मैं नहीं बनूँगी सीता इस बार



©Anupama Garg 2014 October