I love them!! They're orgasmic ! And this, only a book lover can understand. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, genres, price ranges... and each of them tickles the grey cells that make me step into a different world.
They make me wonder about the world, about myself, about people, about life, about every thing the written word can communicate and about everything that it can't ! They have been the first love of my life and I wonder if I'll ever break up with them??
All sorts, except western. Folk, Bollywood, Classical, Rabindra Sangeet, instrumental, vocal, devotional, sufi,everything and anything is a mind-shattering experience. And if I understand the lyrics it's even better!
It's interesting how instant a turn off can western music be for me, unless it's an exceptionally soft romantics from the likes of the Titanic. So THIS one is actually what my psychoemotional orgasmic states can vary because of.
Does this come as a surprise. I'm sorry if I shocked you, but I'm not sorry to list this one here. However, please know that this is not the same as a porn flick. I am talking once again, my dear reader, of the written word - I am talking of the written erotica !
I am by no means talking of the sleazy Savita Bhabhi or the Mast Ram (never read them beyond a borrowed book or two), and nor am I talking of the graphic descriptions of what they publish on 100s of porn sites. I am talking of the classy sensual, control and D/s oriented well-written erotic literature.
Not the steaming creampie stories, but the mild love making combined with age difference, leadership, submission and a lot more.
Now this one's a little complicated. This is about what makes me who I am. I have ever since enjoyed masochism of an intellectual sort. No, am not talking of the pain that I felt when my brother was critical. That was sheer misery!
Do not please mistake me! As anal as I am about my word choice, I do NOT enjoy misery at all, but pain. And this emotional craving for pain makes me fall into bad relationships, because most 'good' men cannot relate with this need in a woman. More so, when it manifests further in the physicality it's easy for any man to get freaked out.
But what you really have to understand is that I acknowledge this desire and I would never EVER in my dreams thinking of imposing it on a non-consenting person in a non-consensual manner. There is a lot more that can be said on this, but I think I'll digress if I don't move on to the next one.
5 .Friendships and Extended Kinship
Intellectual masturbation is so much fun !! More so when it's with people who reciprocate with full vigour. Further, intellectual masturbation is fun only when people do it without a malicious intent. It is fun only if it is for the genuine and loving reasons.
And that my friend can only happen when you connect with people to be friends, to be their kin, to be their extended family, without an ulterior motive of your own. It is possible when you really love them and relate with them.
And blessed I am with so many wonderful people in my life that this thrill of connecting with people who love, share and want to be loved back is something that gives me a solid high.
6. Food - eaten with others
I am a vegetarian and much as I deny it, the fact is that I am a foodie! But I can't eat alone. I can feed myself if I'm hungry, but I don't nourish over food I can't share. A few shared morsels are good enough for my spirits (my body needs what it does), but even a plateful can sit there in my fridge for almost a week, should I have to eat alone.
And when it comes to sharing, I share it with anyone / everyone I can strike up a conversation with. My tastebuds tickled well are certainly a path for a good sleep and in turn my happy moods.
7. A thorough head massage
Warm oil, a heavy hand, preferably a masculine hand, or that of someone like a hefty / well built / tall friend, or the hand of family / extended family; is exotic. It is extremely soothing, relaxing and yet so powerfully arousing in its own way.
Not all arousal / orgasm has to necessarily manifest into cumming and trust me, this one doesn't. But the bliss after it's over is no different. It may not be about bodily fluids, but the energy, exchange is no different.
Another aphrodisiac, specially and more so because it can really take you to a different world. A world of reality which is as surreal as a subspace after pain. It is one of those worlds that cause you to crib, enjoy the thrill, the passion, the work, all and everything at the same time.
This however at times, takes a toll on my emotional and mental well being more so when the pressure is high. But since work for its own sake is what my driving factor has always been, I work happily.
What it means is that, whether I'm paid less or more, I will usually put in my 100 percent or rather 150 % (if I'm acknowledged properly), irrespective of what I'm paid for the job. If I'm dissatisfied about everything, I'll simply quit and not be there suffering myself or making others suffer.
But the fact is that at most times, when I'm at work, I'm in that trance like state where I do not want to think anything else and when I leave from work, I will not leave it behind, because pondering over work, gives me a very different sort of a thrill - a thrill that's almost orgasmic!
9. Creating art with Hands
Creating art with hands is divine! Thanks to the upbringing I received, doing one or the other art and craft hobby class every year, I can color, I can paint a little, I can paint cloth, I can embroid, make costume jewelry, knit, sew a little, quill, write, make stuffed toys, puppets, cards and what nots.
And believe me if you will, the thrill is divine! Intoxicating, exhilarating, liberating, meditative. It is as good as any other of the factors listed above.
10. Writing Poetry
Did I tell you that this one is not about an orgasm but about survival? Well, I did, didn't I? Please say I did !!! (Pouts* )
Well poetry is existential for me. It is my essence and my existence. And by this I mean poetry as a form of expression for me. I have to write poetry to survive. I can miss out on orgasms, but not on oxygen. And a writer's block actually suffocates me, kills me inside, makes me dead and hollow.
Poetry heals, enlivens, keeps me alive, makes me survive AND gives me mind shattering orgasms!! Erotic Poetry even leads me to physical ones! And of course you can't have an orgasm unless you breathe.
Enough about my aphrodisiacs, tell me what are yours? Pretty please !
©Anupama Garg 2015 July