July 2021 - Post 6 - Sickness

Addictions, predilections, temptations, distractions, are all sicknesses. Does this mean I judge myself for caving in yesterday evening to partying? Or the few times before that? Does that make me weak? Does that make me judgeable? No, if at all, it makes me only human, with an awareness that I can change it if I want. That I will need to put in the hard work. The hard work in avoiding my emotions, my experiences, my cravings, my fears, my loneliness, and all that I deem ugly within. The poet in me will want to demonize or romanticize it all. However, if the rational part of my being starts to observe it quietly, patiently, maybe even gently, like one would sooth a child throwing tantrum, then I would know that nothing is ugly within. That no sickness is to be judged, that seeing the sickness itself means that the process to treat it has begun. So, today I am going to see my upset stomach, my headache, and my symptoms. The symptoms of what happens when you do not patiently listen, and plunge into something with hope, without seeing it for what it is - temptation, a mere distraction.

Today, I am going to allow myself to lose out on what I am trying to recover, and just chant - I'll be fine!

#चेतो_दर्पण_मार्जनम्_अनुपमा - Musings Post  6 - 06.07.2021